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At the sight of the heavy makeup on my aunt’s face, I could perceive that she was going out again. It wasn’t surprising; my mum had told me back home that Lagosians don’t stay at home.

At least, home won’t be as boring as usual since she will be leaving Adebola at home with me, I thought to myself.

Adebola proved to be very interesting the last time we stayed at home together. We talked and talked about how our parents would die (we said a lot of relevant and irrelevants) and staying with her alone this time around gave me a sort of comfortable feeling.

“Tobiee!!!” Her voice travelled through the passage and I could hear her scream my name from the sitting room where I was sorting out some things. I didn’t know exactly where she was but then my instincts told me she would be in one of the rooms and I hurried off to answer to her call.

She was waiting for me in the visitor’s room. The same room I had been assigned to sleep in since I got to Lagos.

I noticed she had removed her gown and the only thing she was putting on was a black tube on a tight short. I could see traces of her bra in the tube and I gazed down as I saw her flat tummy and the beautiful shapes she has got. Only if they had made sense to me!

I walked towards my bed and picked her gown where she had placed it. “What a beautiful gown it is” I exclaimed and smiled at her. “Isn’t this what you called me to see?” she gave me an untrue smile. I still didn’t understand what was happening. She then moved close to me, held my hand in hers, looked straight at me and smiled “Tobiee, show me that you are a man” Oh! Finally, I knew what she wanted. Very simple, I sighed as I folded my forearm against my arm, stiffened my muscles as they all contract against one another. Then, I pulled the short sleeves of my shirt up to show her my muscles as they pump up. “Only a man can be this muscular” I said to her. She felt very disappointed and hissed at me with uneasy anxiety. “Is that how to show a girl that you are a man?” I was committed to impressing her and her comment dealt a blow with me. Just to satisfy her, I lied down with my body’s weight resting on my hands; I headed for a push up. After I completed 25 push ups, I was tired and was sweating already. Then I said to her again “It is only a man that can do 25 push ups at a stretch” The disappointment shown on her face was even worse than the former. I felt more ashamed too. Then I asked her shamefully. “How do I show a girl that I am a man?” she then looked at me with pity, as if I was a refugee from Somalia. “Tobiee, did you not do biology in secondary school?” Oww! So it was my knowledge she was trying to test. I began to explain everything I knew in biology. Instantly, she picked up her gown and dressed up as she limped back to the palour.

Even if my son acts in such a manner, I would disown him unconditionally. For God sake my acetylcholine is functioning and my nerve fibres are myelinated so why on earth would that happen.

I am still shaking my head vigorously wishing I had ever been that innocent and in case you do not believe the fictitiousness of this story, ask the PUTIPHAR’s daughter, she can tell you the full story.

Omolere Maxi Oluwatobi

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